Live Harmoniously with Others

By Napoleon Hill

Over 400 self-made millionaires, notably Andrew Carnegie, Henry Ford, as well as Charles M. Schwab, were researched by the then journalist Napoleon Hill nearly a century ago. “Think and Grow Rich,” a 1937 best-seller, was the result of his interviews and research.

Hill’s “Philosophy of Achievement” is built on the principles of freedom, democracy, capitalism, and harmony. He claimed that significant personal accomplishments would be impossible without these foundations. In this post I am going to share some wisdom from the great Napoleon Hill that will change the way you think and work with other.

Anyone who aspires to success in life must recognise the causes of failure. How else can we avoid the pitfalls? In my research into human relations, I have found at least thirty major causes of failure. The granddaddy of them all is the lack of ability to get along harmoniously with others.

A great businessman – one of the wealthiest men of his day – once told me that he had a five-point measuring stick he used in choosing people for advancement to high executive jobs. The five points are:

1. Faculty for getting along with others.

2. Loyalty to those to whom loyalty is due.

3. Dependability under all circumstances.

4. Patience in all situations.

5. Ability to do a given job well.

It is notable that job ability came last. That’s because the more ability one has for a task, the more objectionable one may be if lacking the other four traits.

***

Charles M. Schwab was promoted by Andrew Carnegie from a day labourer to a $75,000 a year job which was a fortune in those days. But Schwab also got a bonus that sometimes reached one million dollars a year. Carnegie said the salary was for what he inspired others to do.

Your ability to inspire others is a blank check on the bank of life that you can fill in for whatever you desire. If you lack this ability, you can take steps to acquire it.

Here are some rules to adopt and follow:

  • Go out of your way to speak a kind word or render some useful service where it is not expected.
  • Modify your voice to convey a feeling of warmth and friendship to those you address.
  • Direct your conversation to subjects of greatest interest to your listeners. Talk ‘with’ them rather than ‘to’ them. Consider the persons with whom you’re conversing as the most interesting in the world, at least at the moment.
  • Soften your expression frequently with a smile as you speak.
  • Never, under any circumstance, use profanity or obscenity.
  • Keep your religious and political views to yourself.
  • Never ask a favour of anyone you haven’t yourself helped at some time.
  • Be a good listener. Inspire others to speak freely.
  • Remember that an ounce of optimism is worth a ton of pessimism.
  • Close each day with this prayer: ‘I ask not more blessings, but more wisdom with which to make better use of the blessings I now possess. And give me, please, more understanding that I may occupy more space in the hearts of my fellow humans by rendering more service tomorrow than I have rendered today.’

Napoleon Hill’s Unlimited Success 52 Steps to Personal & Financial Reward – Week 21

Giving Hope to the Martyr in you

What self-imposed stresses are you dumping on yourself at this moment in time?
And maybe more to the point, why are you being a martyr?

You may not believe it for now, but you really can limit the negative stresses of life if you would only give yourself a flipping break and listen to the person who knows you best, YOU.  And what’s more these changes can last.

Okay you might not be in the mood right now to agree, but lets ask a few probing questions and see how you respond.

Are you continuing to do what you’ve always done and expect different results to miraculously appear?

Are you doing work you no longer enjoy but feel compelled to do?

Are you stuck in an unloving relationship that makes you feel like a second class citizen? Why are you putting up with the frosty silence, rejection after rejection and constant put downs? Are you waiting for a sudden glimpse of love to string you along for another week; for now and then it will appear.

It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me anything, I’m just pleased you’re still reading, after all, the mirror says more than enough every time you dare make eye contact with yourself.

Unfortunately you feel alone and even more unfortunate you are not ready to change a damn thing with your life. You will continue to tolerate, endure and hope life will improve eventually.

The new job, or the pay rise and loving relationship will all turn up if you just endure the stress for a few more months, that’s all it will take… just a few more months. Without sounded conceited, we both know the answer.

​You know you’re lying to yourself, and that’s fine if it helps, life is a constant battle of tricking that little negative voice in our heads. But we have to be realistic too, and unfortunately the lies mean you haven’t reached rock bottom, yet.

You still feel you have to keep up the pretence of being happy, after all everyone else is right? The continuing barrage of ‘happy selfies and happy couples’ pics on social media prove it!

Let me state the obvious, you really are kidding yourself if you believe denying yourself happiness and enduring a poor quality of life is the key to future happiness. I am living proof that major life changes can work out for the best, though it represents the most painful of experiences you will have to face.

Personally I am a great believer in deferring instant gratification and enduring a little more hardship for a bigger return. But sometimes we simply have to face the truth, and that is, if after years of working at a job, relationship or certain skill you’re still undervalued, unappreciated and incompetent, then it’s time to call it a day!


The sad truth is… you’ve conformed, you’re suffering from ‘have-to-itis’, there I’ve said it, someone had to tell you!

You feel you have to do this you have to do that and you have to endure years of unhappiness.

And so the pattern continues; the stress builds and builds, the debts mount and mount, alcohol feels like a solution and becomes a crutch to lean on; though it eases the pain for another day of conformity. Yet the martyr in you remains justified and resilient.

I started writing this piece to lift your spirits and fill your day with my usual positive vibe, but as I type I seemed to have strayed from my earlier preparation as I feel the nagging pain of those still stuck in a life they feel compelled to live, one where tiptoeing safely to death seems to be the only viable option.

So what is the solution?

I think I hear you mutter under your breath. Well, my diagnosis at this moment in time is… there isn’t one for you. Sorry. But come on did you really I think I can help you find your own truth. Only you know YOU.

​Let’s face it, you’ve yet to reach rock bottom and more frustratingly YOU probably enjoy the wanting of a new life far more than having one.

As strange as it may sound you seem to prefer the rush of endorphins – the internal drug cocktail – that is released when you want something, to the set which is released when you achieve something! Which I guess is understandable, as change is bloody scary and your little martyr voice urges you to persist!

Of course there is hope, there always is. But you have to be ready mentally and you have to want it more than anything else in life. And until that moment when you recognise the martyr in you is actually crying out for help, and wants nothing more than to hand over responsibility and ownership of your life back to YOU, things won’t change.

Now maybe you will continue your day as much as you did yesterday and the day before. But lets just say, that maybe together we have scratched a scar that has started itching. And that itch needs a itching, right? Well if that’s the case please reach out to my friend Joe Barnes, author, speaker and life coach, he is far more qualified than me to guide you away from the path of martyrdom and onto freedom. Either dip straight into his book, Escape The System, sign up to his newsletter or join him on FaceBook. Whatever you do please do something today, that’s the key, do it now! You will never know where one little itch can lead

​And finally…you’re not on this earth to be the torturer of your own mind, you are not here to merely exist, you have as much right as anyone else to be what you want to be.

You are Conqueror of your world. Now listen to your heart.

By Mark Weeks

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